Tyler's First Post- Memories of Holden

Uncle Jim getting mad at Josh and Derek for using the boxing gloves he gave them for Christmas to hit each other.

Throwing a dead robin, Josh Bennett’s and my first registered kill with my new BB gun- into Kristy’s birthday party when we were 8.

The powerhouse backfield of my 8th grade football team- Courtney, Josh Bennett, and...Kevin Stevens.

Putting black baling twine up in the trees and getting scouts from the other wards to chase us back to our camps- and the rope burns on their necks at flag ceremony the next morning.

The chill of adrenaline shooting into my bloodstream when Courtney called to tell me the cops were on their way up the hill 2 weeks after the pumpkin incident.

Hurtling through the air after wrecking Tim Carling’s stupid waverunners- paying my entire summer’s wages to him.

Trying not to laugh when Uncle Ken called me and asked if Courtney was “sniffing drugs” after an experiment with ground-up model rocket engines went south on us.

The look on Thane Bennett’s face when he opened up his “Preference Dance Matching shirt” and realizing it had been replaced with an assortment of Kristy Bennett’s underwear.

Watching Madeline try not to laugh as she hit Josh, Courtney, and I with a broom.

Practicing survival skills by cooking and eating grasshopper legs with Rick Bennett’s blowtorch.

Madeline backing up their old brown thunderbird for us to take out to the dump when we were 13 and knocking over the fire hydrant.

Snooping in Terrell’s backyard with Cody and Camm to find the marijuana plants we knew would be there so we could collect the $25,000 reward.

Making the majors one year ahead of the rest of my grade and becoming friends with Jim and Wade.

Being arrested along with the rest of my teachers quorum for spotlighting rabbits.

Having Frank Thomas come into our sunday school class to lay down the law.

Hunter Ed safety videos- more violent and disturbing than any R-rated movie.

Wondering to this day if I have a chemically accelerated form of cancer from cleaning out the fertilizer tanks in Milford- and the responsible dumping of a myriad of unknown chemical compounds into the ditch.

Thanking Heavenly Father when we found out Erica was pregnant with Porter that years of chemical exposure had not rendered me sterile.

Riding a 4 wheeler stolen by Bullfrog and wrecking the crap out of it-my first run-in with the law.

Nick Bennett stabbing Jaime Thomas in the chest and crying triumphantly- “Watch milk come out!” after her brother Danny had wrecked our treehouse.

Courtney totally selling us up the river when we shot out the window of that old crappy VW bug. Walking up to Max’s house fully expecting to never return.

Geoge Masner getting kicked in the foot by Lucas Steven’s horse and everyone teasing him about the way he “ howled like a coyote” as we sat waiting to pass the sacrament.

Joann Nebeker calling coooooordeeeellllllll! when you’d call him on the phone.

Scout Camp with Dean Bennett and Dean North- what a couple of weirdos.

Running away to hide in the potato fields when Steve or Dave outed my crush on Wendy Christensen. I wanted to kill them- for alot of reasons- not just that.

Grandma Condie hitting David with the broom after he broke my arm- thinking : “this might be the one that makes them get rid of him”

Crying in the car on the way to the doctor after I barfed in first grade and was going to miss “Chocolate Milk Day” at school lunch. Mom took me to the store to get me some. I barfed it up too.

Calling up Chad Strong to come play the Legend of Zelda with me because deep down inside it kind of scared me.

Jumping over the couch when I realized that Super Mario Bros. 2 was in my stocking at Christmas- getting stabbed in the foot with some scissors that one of the girls left out. I didn’t care.

Trying to get Josh to not tell anyone when derek almost knocked him out with a nintendo controller- Josh’s stories about rabies.

Sleeping in the tent for 4 months while the house was being built- sneaking out with Cody and Camm to tie up Connie Bennett’s goat in some random place.

Wondering if Derek would grow up to be a serial Killer after pining hundreds of box elder bugs to the back fence and poking out their rabbit’s eye.

Note to future parents- not a good thing to have a virtually limitless supply of black powder hanging around with pre-teen boys in the house. I think I still have shards of PVC under my skin from trying to “make a cannon”.

My earliest run-in with the law- using my knowledge of physics and natural leadership skills to assemble a lunch-time army of lincoln-log catapults with the goal of delivering shock and awe to Ada Jackson’s construction-paper turkey that Mrs. Wood had hung from a string that ran across our ceiling in first grade.

Trying to make pencils stick in the asbestos ceiling tiles in every class from 1st to 8th grade.

Kevin Stevens getting hit on the butt by the woodshop teacher in 7th grade- perpetuating rumors about that teacher’s sexual orientation.

Kevin mooning an entire troop of scouts from Orem in the High Uintas- my first real gang-style brawl. Dean and Dean chastising us for our violence. Us thinking they were weird. Then later putting a whole brick of black-cats in front of their tent at 3 am. I think they got our message. By the way- is it weird they shared a tent?

All my friends thinking that Kevin’s B-Day party was the greatest- Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom- until Peter White barfed up his pink ice cream during the part where they are eating “chilled monkey brains” and triggering a barf chain reaction that you can probably still smell in their basement.

Cordell was probably such an innocent little schmuck before he moved to Holden- little did he know he would make friends with Cody, Camm, and the rest of us. His mom probably thought we were all on drugs.

Asking specifically for a two-stage Estes Model Rocket with a payload section so Courtney and I could study the effects of sending up live mice and anything else we could cram into that payload. Wondering what the mouse would tell his mouse family about his abduction by aliens after he returned from the sky unharmed.

I could go on all night, but I better go spend some time with my wife before she reads all of this and wants to leave me.